Running low

Adoption really is nuts!  It’s exhausting and challenging and so beautiful, joyful, frustrating, amazing, and eye-opening. Your emotions literally change from minute to minute, beginning of e-mail to end. Nuts!

Most days I like to think I am holding it together just fine, waiting ( kind of)  patiently, financially secure and affording this, I feel like I have more than enough support and faith and love in my life to carry me through. I know I’ll feel those things again but today I am running low!

I’m low on money, I have to pay 6500 by the end of next week and I only have 2300 in my savings account. I am low on patients, my power of attorney is taking forever to be authenticated and there can be no court without it, I am losing my cool. I am low on faith, thinking about God right now and all of the things I know about religion and adoption makes me feel anxious. I feel lonely in all of this today and I’m low on steam and low on optimism.

Like I said, I know I’ll feel differently soon, maybe in 5 minutes : ) I am looking forward to getting home and finding something like a book or a walk, maybe cutting the grass or a bath to help me refuel because thee is still so much work to do.

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