|The writing below is something I found when researching thoughts and opinions of single parent adoption. I was having a hard time because it seemed like the more religious someone (or a group of someones) was the bigger the problem they had with single parent adoption. Some also tried to use the bible as an argument against adoption. To those of you reading that are not down with the bible chat, I apologize but I want people to get a chance to read this. This guy (David) says it better than I could and I think my responses would have an inappropriate amount of sarcasm and annoyance in them.
Questions about being a Christian *and* a Single Adoptive Parent(Written in response to someone’s friend saying – singles should not adopt)
Since your thread specifically asked about faith and adoption, I’d like to share a couple thoughts about just that. If they make anyone uncomfortable, well you’ve been alerted to the presence of faith conversation ahead of time… I intend to mention the Bible in this conversation.You specifically identified yourself as a Christian. You may know or be interested in knowing first, that the Bible doesn’t say anything that prevents a single person from adopting. Not a single thing. I write that as a seminary graduate.It does hold up a man and woman as God’s ideal plan. That in itself does not prevent single adoption. Your situation – adopting an existing child without a mother or father is quite different than bringing a child into the world on your own as a single mom. That is way outside the scope of your question, so I will set that aside.
As someone mentioned above, this isn’t an ideal world. One look at kids in a Children’s Home will cement that in your mind. So what is the “right” thing to do for them? When the Bible is silent on a topic, it doesn’t mean there is no guidance. One of the main principles of the NT that I’ve found excellent for untangling knots is the following…
This is the main thing I would want to say to you if I was there talking over coffee…
What is the most redemptive thing you can do now?
Is it redemptive to leave people in their suffering? To deny them a Mom just because they can’t get a father too? You can answer that for yourself, but to me the answer is clearly NO. It is far more redemptive to … REDEEM THEM from suffering and place them in a family – yours. Frankly, what is their alternative? Do they have any alternative that is redeeming? I would like to hear an argument that it is better to deny them a mom because they didn’t get a matched set of parents initially. It would be an unconvincing argument – and would not be based on an admonition from scripture. I don’t find arguments from silence very convincing anyway…
In the meantime, there is the very real need of at least 750,000 kids [in Russia] without homes. If all two parent homes were willing to take one, there wouldn’t be enough kids to spread around, but that doesn’t happen.
And a very large number of older kids are dumped on the streets every year and another whole crop of young kids are put in homes each year. The problem continues with no answer in sight.Would your priest or pastor argue that they should stay in their suffering? I suspect that he wouldn’t, if he really wrestled through this. I believe his comments were short-sighted, but people in his position are under such stress. It may be that he has never really thought this through. Nor would I let his position – whether a conviction or ill thought through – bother me. Or he may be unreasonable. You don’t say, so I am giving him the benefit of the doubt.Psalm 68:6 says, “God sets the lonely in families. He brings out the prisoners with singing…”
And so he does in your child’s case. And by the way, I am speaking as a Christian, but this is also a portion of the Hebrew scriptures.
It is also worth remembering that Moses was adopted and raised by Pharoah’s daughter – and there is no evidence she was married. No doubt you know the blessing of God in Moses’ life. Scripture says God did this to provide for the deliverance of Israel and the blessing of the world. Don’t miss that God put his chosen deliverer in the home of a single woman. No doubt Moses had the influence of men in his life in Pharoah’s home. But his “Egyptian” mom was single to my knowledge.
Was God wrong to do this? No, He’s never wrong. Never immoral.
I want to affirm that you are doing a wonderfully redemptive thing in the life of your child. There are great men around who would be willing to have a significant male presence in your child’s life.
blessings to you and your child,
— Dave Lucca
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