The last 7 months of my life have been the most wonderful chaos I have ever experienced. I changed from foster/adopt to international adoption, I have begun an amazing journey in faith, I have become a non-smoking, weight watching citizen and now attempting to become a runner. I have started working all the time, become single after 5 years, I have decided on some new career direction, I spied my daughters sweet face for the first time though I have thought of her everyday for 3 years. It has been exciting and terrifying and I feel like I have been emotional and whinny and grateful and amazed and moved and challenged and changed and in love/hate with the process.
The things I love about the process are the things that were hard that are now over : ) I love the things that I feel like have inspired me, challenged me. I have always been a doer and a giver but somehow without purpose, just gave to give and just did to do, it was the right thing. I am now certain there is this reason giving is so much more than charity, it is an obligation and a calling and it offers an incredible freedom from selfishness. I also love the end result of the process, Little H of course, and the unbelievable amount of knowledge accumulated in my brain about the orphan crisis, the need everywhere to take care of our children, the DRC, war, illnesses and things I only knew enough to make it through a superficial conversation about before. I love the education I am getting on the adoption process and all kinds of other things.
Obviously the things I have hated are the hard things I have not made it through yet like waiting and waiting and waiting and paying and waiting and o yeah, some more paying and waiting. I’m sure these next couple of months will seem like nothing in 3 years from now so I’m hanging on and hanging in.
What an incredible 7 months, I am excited about the next 7. They are guaranteed to be just as chaotic and emotional and I cannot wait!