Should I, shouldn’t I?

Just do it! You can afford that? What are you thinking? How are you going to pull that off? Of, course you should! You’ll find a way to make it work! Where there is a will, there is a way! God always funds his callings! Just ask in prayer and it will be given! WAIT A MINUTE!!!

I can’t think straight, see straight, I definitely can’t feel anything that makes sense. All my instincts and my heart-strings are pulling and nagging and grinding and turning and pointing me toward this little boy. This boy that I first laid eyes on yesterday afternoon and I have thought of almost nothing (except of course my sweet Little H) since. When I look at H’s sweet face I see this little person I am lucky enough to get to meet someday and take home and love to pieces, I see my child. When I look at his sweet face I see this little person I am dying inside to meet someday and take home and love to pieces, I want this child. I want these children, these 2 sweet babies, I want them like I have wanted nothing else in this life. I have an urgency when I think of them there and me here. I have this burn in my heart that won’t quit. I want this little boy.

Because H was a waiting child I had to switch to the agency representing her so I ended up with the most expensive agency for second child adoption rates. Well at least from what I’ve found. The reason I picked my original agency back in January, was because I wanted a sib group and their rates were unbeatable. I wanted to become a parent and after the past 3 years of this I thought it would be nice to not do any adoption related stuff again for a loooooooong time.

So here I am, trying to decide whether or not to say yes, whether or not to take a chance on this, to get a loan, have another fundraiser, work even more? Ahhhhhh, there is so much to think about figure out and not very much time to do it in. I have raised with my 1 fundraiser and some donations about 5300, I have no idea how some people raise 15,000 and other crazy numbers like that. I read it all the time on blogs, people are giving and giving to their adoption.

Please if you could, send some prayers or positive thoughts, a little help, maybe some advice, so I can figure it out, thank you. And in case you enjoy giving to a pretty good cause I’m grateful for that as well : )

Have a great Tuesday afternoon people and maybe there will be something exciting to blog about soon.

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3 Responses to Should I, shouldn’t I?

  1. mhirschenberger says:

    so excited!!! sending positive, neutral (do it!) thoughts 🙂 no bias here

  2. East Coast Melissa says:

    Good luck, Amber! I hope you can adopt both!

    • agodden1 says:

      Thank you, me too. I was going to see if I could get enough to cover the first inital payment then that way I’d feel better about saying yes. Hopefully it works, I just checked my paypal balance and it’s $441.98!!! Totally awesome, it’s not $7500 but it’s an awesome start AND it’s only been donated by 7 people, 7 very kind and generous people. Thank you!!!!!!

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