Thankful-Day 6

6- I am thankful that My heart and My plans for adoption have been wrecked. Completely broken and then rebuilt. I dig it. Totally into it. I am excited to be living my life for more than just me.

When I was a little girl obsessed with adoption, I always dreamed up preschoolers for myself instead of babies and usually my pretend kids were in wheelchairs (mostly because of CP as that was the only disability I knew about when I was young) or had a special need of some kind. It never seemed too hard or too different, always made perfect sense, just seemed like what it would be like when I grew up, how it was supposed to be for me.  

When I first started the foster/adopt process in 09 I was surprised that I wanted so young and healthy, I wanted the call for a 0-2 year old little girl. The more I learned about the foster care system and the need, the more I waited and the more I thought about what adoption really was I changed my criteria. Adoption isn’t about me and my wants. I think that losing 3 babies messed with my mind a bit. I knew my heart, my pocketbook and my life could handle much more than the mildly messed up toddler so I asked for 0-6 or a sib group where one of the kiddos was under 3. As soon as I changed my ages and list of issues I’d be open to, it felt so right. xzJust like when I  was little, like how it was supposed to be for me. God was in charge, not me. Perfect.

When I changed to the DRC program I decided to put down a single girl age 2-3 or a sib group where both kiddos were under 5. Thank you God for changing my mind about the waiting child and leading me to say yes to an “around 4-year-old”, who just might be an almost 6-year-old by the time I actually get to bring her home.

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