While I’ve been waiting, I’ve been putting together a book of love notes for my H. Just a couple of lines here and there to remind her of how much she was wanted and loved and cherished even before I knew she was my family. I wrote her a little longer note just now and I thought I’d share this one with you all because as of right now, this sweet beauty is my daughter. For realz!! And I just feel like telling everyone.
Today is a pretty BIG deal sweet girl! Ever since I laid eyes on your beautiful face 10 months ago I’ve prayed and hoped and dreamed and wished and waited for today. Today, I am officially your mommy and you are my little girl, until FOREVER! I cannot believe how lucky I am!!
I know that you don’t know what forever means yet but I’ll show you : ) The greatest thing about forever is that it doesn’t end, it just goes on and on and on.
Since we have forever we’ll have all kinds of time to celebrate your birthdays and Christmas. We’ll get to read stories and tell jokes, try new things and play baby dolls. There will be glitter and mud and movies and games and friends and music and dancing. I am going to teach you english and how to ride your bike, how to fish and skate, I will take you to Disneyworld and the circus. I’m going to kiss you everyday for as long as you’ll let me and tuck you in every night for as long as you need me. I’ll take you to the beach, teach you about Jesus, rock you, bake with you, paint your toenails and fix your hair, take your picture and build forts. I promise to teach you about Congo and help you hold on to your beautiful culture, whatever that looks like for you. I promise to help you remember your birth mother and where you came from. I want you to know your story. I promise to feed you when you’re hungry and hold you when you’re scared, to help you live your dreams no matter what they are, I promise to love you every single day of my life, until forever.
My favorite dream precious Harper, is the one where I get to reach out and touch you for the first time. I try to imagine how good it will feel to wrap you up in my arms and hold you close to me. I hope you’ll be able to feel how much I love you. I think about how soft your little cheek will feel and how incredible your hand will be to hold, I have never had a more perfect dream.
Until that dream becomes a reality I will keep working and waiting and praying for you. I know you’re going to be nervous and scared about all of this, me too love. Some parts might be pretty hard but I am certain that no matter how afraid we are or how tricky things get, we are meant to be a family. I know God is working hard on getting our hearts ready for each other. I can feel it.
You have changed my life so much, you have changed my heart and I haven’t even met you yet!! What an amazing miracle you are and what an awesome blessing it is that I get to be the one to love you FOREVER!
You, my beautiful Harper, have already filled up my heart and my head, you’ve taken over my dreams and I cannot wait for you to fill up my arms and my lap, to take over my life. I love love love you!