At least it’s not Friday

Well Friday’s alert on the state department website was enough to send me into a deep dark place. One not even friends, prayer, banging my head against the wall, alcohol or salt water taffy could pull me out of. I spent the weekend in and out of that dark place just staring off into space and thinking, this cannot be real, can it? Is it? Have I just gone completely and certifiably mad? 12 months? What?

If you didn’t read the link above, it’s another delay. DGM (Congolese immigration) is suspending all exit letters (you need one to take your adopted child out of the country) for an unknown amount of time.Ahhhhhhh! My heart is broken for not only H and myself of course but all those babies waiting. There are families in country now waiting on an exit letter. Some were about to travel to pick up their littles and then so many others about to be ready. Hopefully those families pre investigation process won’t be affected at all by this. No news as to when they will start to issue them again and there of course is always a chance that they won’t. Sigh, just like in any kind of adoption the end could always leave you exactly where you started. I have been trying to make my peace with that truth for a while now. Since I have been adopting for 4 years and waiting for her specifically for 17 months you’ll have to forgive my debbie downer attitude. Not used to winning at this whole becoming a parent thing. I don’t think I’ll believe it until that plane touches tar right here in MN.

After my pity party this weekend I got an email on Monday morning saying that the embassy had been to H’s commune her investigation is moving!!! This is amazing! This is music to my ears! This is me hoping like mad that this means we’ll have an embassy appointment soon!!! I long for the day that beautiful email shows up in my inbox at 3am. If that goes well they will then issue her a visa which has been taking about a week post appointment. Then I will get my visa which will take a couple of days and then WAIT some more for word that DGM is again issuing exit letters. If it doesn’t look like she will be home for Christmas I will go and visit. I cannot wait another year to get my hands on her! I can barely wait another minute.

So that is the update. I have decided that I will need some other things to focus on during this next part of the wait, running (a little), cleaning out my house and daycare, getting some projects I’ve been avoiding done, getting my Lingala on, and I am going to find a new church. I am really going to work on being present at work even with the email and fb info coming in constantly. I need to get my head in the game!

Also I have no idea what is wrong with my dashboard but suddenly there is no spell check so, sorry about it, there are bound to be many many spelling errors.

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